Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
