I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
