Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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