That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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