He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The air was thick with penises
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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