now i know why i became what i already was.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
