He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
