meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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