Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
