lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We are two peas in an std pod
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
