i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
