I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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