dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
