Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
