He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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