So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
