i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
