"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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