Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
