i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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