I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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