whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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