She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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