You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize