Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why do cheetos always look like penises
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
