The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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