I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
