I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
