he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
