Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
