somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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