why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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