i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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