my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize