help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize