singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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