I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
