If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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