I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
