I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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