i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sober January is a disaster.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
