i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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