I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
