Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
