i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
