So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
