I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
