Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
