And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
