ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
