WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
