She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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