and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
