Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
