Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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