I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
