Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
