I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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