since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
