he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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