he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
