where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He has the fingertips of a God
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