Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
