So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's rum buckets o'clock
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
